ContactIf they can pull it off tonight, it only seems inevitable that a certain store/brand might commemorate the "feat" with a very appropriate t-shirt. My contributions to that that shirt design brainstorming session:
I of course have no intention of producing said shirt nor have any rights to the usage of that logo in any way other than personal amusement on the last Saturday afternoon of 2007.
Sweet Mayercraft Carrier merch previews coming soon! Think "1998 Beach Weekend Panama City"!
My boy KJ just got back from NY and came packing with gifts. One of said gifts was an outstanding pair of DC Comics-inspired Roadstas. The packaging (like a huge toy figurine) is almost as ridiculous as the shoes themselves. Which is almost as ridiculous as my embracing something themed after Wonder Woman.
I started to feel bad for spending the whole day staring at the shoes, contemplating whether or not to bust them out...then I remembered it's the shortest day of the year, so no harm, no foul!
1) The 5th seeded Indian Apples lost to the #1-seeded-Hartford Whalers in the Fantasy Football semifinals by 5 points! 118-113 - with Romo, TO, and Tony Gonzalez having unreasonably tough days, there was no time like last week to upset #1. Instead, IA sat Anthony Gonzalez, who scored more than both Reggie Wayne and Randy Moss, costing them a berth in the FF Finals. BOOOO.
2) It has become flat-out impossible to enjoy Monday Night Football with the TV not on MUTE. The commentary is atrocious - its like hanging out with three guys who will say ANYTHING in order to say anything that might be correct or witty any time in the future. It's like walking through Manhattan putting down picnic blankets in case someone wants to have lunch: wasteful, ridiculous, and annoying. You guys are straight up killing it - in sports commentary I think you can be one of 3 things: a stater-of-facts-and-events, an insightful/compelling guy, or a funny-yet-somewhat-irrelevant-guy. Sadly, no one currently comes close to any of those archetypes. Steve Young and Emmitt feel like playing the Roxy in 2001 after 3 months on the west coast after the game. Seriously, you're killing it. Seriously. You're killing it. Seriously.
3) I attended my first-ever NFL game last Sunday, and I was blown away by the passion and machoism displayed by multitudes of men in their mid-40s and over for a sports franchise. Who knew so many people owned LaDanian Tomlinson jerseys (shoutout to the 3 guys that sported Calvin 81 jerseys into the lions' den)? I love watching guys get into fistfights about pro-sports teams, but second on the list is this guy:
Big ups to The Philosophy Major, and the Cupcakes are goin' down this weekend!
So, our friends Ali and Andrew just had a beautiful baby girl, Charlotte. Last weekend, we went to visit the new trio and I got to hold Charlotte. My policy with new babies is usually stay-back-and-let-everyone-else-babytalk-themselves-into-silliness before sweeping in during some down time and teaching the baby some math and how to "hang out" or "post up". Anyway, a little out of my comfort zone, I was happy to hold Charlotte, and it was going really well until she broke out into a cry. A big cry.
I, like all decent humans, was pretty upset that I caused someone to cry - and not to mention disappointed that I wasn't able to give Charlotte the As and Bs about getting her "lean on" in the carseat. But then I remembered seeing old clips of The Beatles first appearing on the Ed Sullivan Show and all the people in the audience crying and in pain from all the joy they were feeling. It was that moment that my half-slanted eyes met hers, red and teary, and I knew exactly what was going on.
And if by "exactly" I mean "nothing, in any way, shape, or form about"...then yes, I knew exactly what was going on.
When the song first started showing up earlier this year, it seemed like a dream - Pharrell, Kanye, and Lupe all on the same track? Over a Thom Yorke song? WHAAAAAT? It was like compressing an entire 2-year Complex magazine subscription into 3 minutes and 50 seconds. It, unlike another song (ahem, "Number One") was the perfect collaboration from all 3 (4 if you count Yorke) superstars (well, I guess 4 if you count Lupe, then).
Anyway, what could be better?
Enter the video for "Us Placers" - the only thing better than Pharrell, Kanye, Lupe, and Thom is mini-Pharrell, mini-Kanye, mini-Lupe, and mini-Thom. Tremendous.
In other news, go out and grab Lupe Fiasco's "The Cool" (iTunes link) - 100% worth the purchase.
I gave fantasy football a try last year and fell in love with it. Thinking you can't have too much of a good thing, I accepted invitations to a few other leagues this year and wanted to break up asap. We've worked through our differences, and I managed (literally) to make the playoffs in all 3 leagues, which are drastically different in size and composition. Two of my teams got bounced last week, but if I can pull off a victory this weekend, I'll be one step away from justifying all the time spent reading articles and rankings charts on Saturday afternoons. Because I know you really care, I've given you a team-by-team summary of each of my little armies this season:
League: CBS Sportsline
Size: 14 Teams
Team Name: *** ******* (inherited name)
Composed of: A bunch of east coast folks. With the exception of my co-manager, I know no one in the league...though they all know each other very well and love to utilize the email list function to bicker and talk trash like middle-schoolers, forcing me to up my BlackBerry data plan in order to avoid paying $500/month on their nonstop copy-paste parade.
My (OUR) team's stud: T.O.
Outcome of the first round of playoffs: LOSS, 110-94
Where I (we) went wrong: Bernard Berrian on the bench with 22 pts...Kolby Smith, Adrian Peterson (CHI, a former Georgia Southern Eagle, what what), and my man TO combined for 11 - switch one out and we advance.
League: Yahoo
Size: 12 teams
Team Name: Dillon Panthers
Composed of: Midwesterners, mostly in the Chicago area. I know about half of the guys, mostly from Aware.
My team's stud: Three-way tie - Ocho Cinco, Plax, and the Waiver Wire
Outcome of the first round of playoffs: LOSS, 67.15-124.35 (OUCH)
Where I went wrong: More like where they went wrong. The Panthers, who put up the weekly high score 4 weeks in the regular season, only had 2 touchdowns from their lineup in the playoff game (one from McNabb, one from the Jaguars DST). That's soft, you so-called "skillplayers." SOFT.
League: ESPN
Size: 10 teams
Team Name: Indian Apples
Composed of: Guys from (at some point) Georgia and Los Angeles. Ironically, I know, see, and talk to these dudes the most, but intraleague correspondence is pretty much dead.
My team's stud: The Colts! I grabbed Peyton, Reggie+Marvin, and Dallas Clark. When Marvin went down, I traded for Randy Moss. Tasty, right?
Outcome of the first round of playoffs: WIN, 145-99
Forecast: This weekend has the Apples facing off with the #1 seed, the league's New Guy who only lost 1 game in the regular season. We need the Cowboys to run the ball (he has the Romo-TO combo) and the Colts to hang 70 on the Raiders. No problem, right?
NOTE: After a loose political gathering was held last night under the auspices of a holiday party, much of the below has been incorporated into legislative action, tentatively titled "Prop 82: The Cologne Initiative."
TOPIC #1: THE SENSE OF SMELL
Problems:
-People smoke cigarettes.
-People rarely finish a full bottle of cologne before realizing they don't really care for the scent. Turns out 3.4oz is a LOT of smelly liquid.
Solution:
-Institute a federal law that states:
"Should a citizen choose to smoke cigarettes in public, any bystander within 15 feet is permitted to spritz the smoker with 3 pumps of the cologne or perfume of his/her choice. Target areas should include, but not be limited to, the face, hair, and chest area."
Effect on Society:
This will not only help everyone finish off those bottles of CK One, Safari, Woods, Sunflowers, Curve, and every other Valentine's-Day-gift-from-middle-school they've been holding on to, but it will give the smokers of the world a taste of how it feels to go home and have to dry clean your clothes and wash your hair because someone around you decided to be selfish.
Next week: "The Secret To Working In A Mattress Store." HINT: it begins with your salespeople wearing pajamas on the showroom floor.
What a night - by far, one of the coolest shows I've witnessed, on stage and off. Maybe the best LA crowd I've ever seen. Scans of the setlists below...it was a special night, and lucky for all of us, we'll soon be able to re-enact the evening in the comfort of our own homes. In HD.
...still a few things that I won't have until tomorrow, but just to show you that there's a zip-hoodie (or two) for the more "classically inclined" aka "scared to mix polka dots and magenta embroidery into my wardrobe":
Can we get some more centerfielders out here? Andruw "Gold (Glove) Club" Jones and Torii "The" Hunter just landed at LAX and the Hot Stove couldn't be any hotter. It's almost like the MLB is playing Oregon Trail, except it's called California Trail...and instead of being a banker-who-can't-hunt and living with the fear that the family member in your wagon that you named after your best friend in class could come down with typhoid and die at any minute, you're an outfielder that bats cleanup.
And you know what batting cleanup means - no caulking the wagon and floating across that river. No sir-ee, we pay for that damn ferry to take us across each and every time (SIDENOTE: If anyone in your class ever tried to ford the river, they were held back a grade. True story - there's no tolerance in society for forders.)
I thought this was about baseball, but it instead has become about a time before the mouse existed (the oft-referred to Pre-Mouse Era, or PME):
And the photo below must have been doctored in Photoshop - no way he killed that bison/buffalo/ambiguous large mammal. No way you could kill anything but a squirrel out there in the wilderness. Out there, on the Oregon Trail.
Sweet! Alright, let's hear it for more ex-Atlanta Braves suiting up with the Blue! Get ready for a Dodgers-Angels 2008 World Series!
-Scotty
