LIL WAYNE, BEST ORTHODONTIST EVER?

I caught our man Wayne on Jimmy Kimmel talking about his teeth (link to interview)...$150,000 for the permanent diamond veneers. Strong choice.



And while I love this like you know I would, it raises more questions than it answers:

1. I can see 16 teeth "diamondeered" - are all 32 done?

2. Did Weezy pay a price-per-tooth or a flat fee for the entire mouth?

3. If he did pay price-per-tooth, were incisors the same cost as molars? What about bicuspids? Did each tooth have an estimated cost calculated by some sort of surface-area-to-visibility formula?

4. If I got my molars done and then started having pain from my impacted wisdom teeth, would the better choice to be to remove $18,750 worth of teeth and diamonds or live through the discomfort?

5. Can the Tooth Fairy really afford to leave a payment under the pillow that is actually an incentive for kids to remove their teeth? Last time I checked, I got a quarter. Not exactly the scratch I'd expect if I lost a lateral incisor that I could use as a downpayment on a house.

6. If Wayne tore his ACL, do you think he'd have the replacement tendon blinged out before it was reattached? What do you think his hearing aids will look like? How many carats would a stone need to be in order to be hollowed out and converted into a pacemaker? Can you insert a diamond into the center of the pupil during Lasik surgery? I need to know so I can plan!!

These are the tough questions we're forced to face. Mr. Carter, you are a delight.

(first posted at scottycrowe.com.)