81 IS THE NEW 21.

We here at "/scotty" try to provide a number of services for you, and one of those services is finding nicknames for our favorite athletes. We definitely feel one Calvin Johnson deserves the proper nickname for Stuart Scott and Chris Berman to throw out on a weekly basis this fall, so we'd like to present to you:
NICKNAMES FOR WIDE RECEIVER CALVIN JOHNSON:
"The Angler" - he's always reeling in great catches
"The Filter" - he catches everything
"The Inbox" - he receives everything
"TNT" - explosive, The Next Terrellowens (in terms of on the field performance only, of course)
"Motor City" - 4.35 is a serious time
"81 Mile" - Look, if you had...one shot...one opportunity...to seize everything you ever wanted...come on, he's in Detroit and everything
"Silent Cal" - He's got that cool, humble demeanor. And, who doesn't think of Calvin Coolidge when they think of the National Football League?
"The Philosophy Major" - you're scared when he gets deep
"Lake Superior" - it's the midwest swang
"Simba" - the young Lion king
"Aspirin" - he makes everyone better
"The Masseur" - he has great hands...or so I've heard
"Royal Flush" - again, great hands
"The Guestlist" - he always gets passes
"JR Squared" - Jerry Rice Jr.
You're welcome. Use as you see fit.